Since the fire in my brain I have existed with no purpose, lost in a very dark place, at times wanting to die. And suddenly, finally, I have made the clear choice I want to live. It has come at all times during my first attempt at scratch board. Convinced I would surely fail, which certainly wouldn’t help my already low self esteem, I was very frightened about tackling this new skill. We were all asked to select a photo to use for our first attempt. Every one else picked sweet little dogs and cute bunnies, or pretty birds. As I sifted through the stack of pictures on the table, it was the gorilla gazing at me that stirred something profound, deep in my very soul. Looking into his eyes, I was surprised to realize that for the first time I really wanted to live. Even more, I wanted to thrive. I could almost feel a new flare of light in my eyes, as a spark of excitement and passion overwhelmed me.
Maybe I will never again be the lioness of my past, but I suddenly feel stronger and less afraid. I determined to heal, to find my old inner strength.
I want to live.
“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” (Picasso)